Background Picture taken Sovata Romania 2011 Background Picture taken Brasov Romania, 2016 Butterfly Photographed Sovata Romania 2011
 I am an idiot who is soo stupid, that I think everyone is out to help me! That everyone is smarter than I am because they must know something I don't! So I help everyone find out how stupid I really am! Than I become HARMLESS! Now I can afford to start acting smart. For if I acted smart from the beginning I would be competing with myself! Remember I said it first so you don't make the mistake and confuse me, an idiot, with a liar! I have no patience for laziness and so I just go and go and go! I have patience for everything else just no patience for patience! The odd part is that I still feel lazy! I am honest with myself, always telling myself "Man I'm lazy!" Its What I believe! Every day! I say to myself: "If my company was just a little better! If only I would have tried just a little harder! If I would have just had more courage! If I just would have listened to my gut feeling! If I would have just listened to that person! If I was just a little smarter! If I just showed less weakness! If I just showed more strength! If I just had a little more love! A little more empathy! A little more forgiveness! A little less forgiveness so I don't enable someone to keep hurting me! Or someone else! Or themselves! If I could just stop thinking for a second to just get a break! Man my leg is hurting! If my leg would just leave me a lone so I can just stop thinking! These are my thoughts before any word comes out of my mouth at every moment. So whenever I do or say something I am already exhausted in my mind and so I am just living off the energy of the spirit. If I eat or drink! This is good. If I don't! This is good. As long as I don't have to think about it for I am exhausted when I wake up in the morning. Before I open my eyes from whatever nightmare I was fighting in my sleep for I sleep like a horse at night in sweat, tears and pain because at night my pain is the worse and I have to twist my weight every 15 min or so, since before 10 years old. This is the real me! But I have become lazier and lazier over the years! I am too lazy to open myself to anyone anymore! To explain why and why and why and who and where and when and for what reason! That would be a lot of answers that would require a lot of thinking and a lot of time. But for me life changes every 15 min! I can walk into an airport and be arrested or I can walk into a meeting and sell $100,000 contract. I can walk onto a stage as a stand up comedian as though I am one, or I can pick up a homeless person off the street who had no shoes and hadn't slept in three days because they were high on Amphetamine, and call him my son. Not to mention explaining to my wife: "I know he could rob us but look at his smile! He lights up an entire room with it!" For those friends who know the story it was my dear, dear boy Andrew! I can go scuba diving in a cave with sharks 100 feet under the ocean or write a rock song. I can take 3 days photographing butterflies or go to Paris to see my favorite stone statue of an Asian man that is 5000 years old and looks like anyone you might see today walking in the world, and wonder in my mind for hours what would it be to live in his time. I can walk into an orthodox church and sing in tears of sorrow and joy for 2 hours or I can see a sunset alone and cry tears of Joy wondering what happiness would feel like. I can get high on marijuana in hopes to get a break from thinking and some good sleep but instead get inspiration for hours and hours for I feel no pain! So I just do this. I am a business man, a writer, a comedian, a clown, a professional, a friend, an enemy, a tool, a rich man, a poor man, a wise man, a child, a son, an adult, a husband, a sinner, a saint, a good man, a bad man, a violent man, a peaceful man, a poet, a loser, a philosopher, somebody, nobody. My friends I am none of any of these things. I just am as I am every 15 min. If you took the time to read all of this. Tell me please! Please! I am asking! Do you accept me the way I am? Can I be myself around you? I am too lazy to care if you do or not! But I really want to just know! I want to know if I should lie to you and SOMEONE else. Someone you like! Someone you can grow old with in life as friends! I am too lazy to have patience to figure out what I should be for you! The only reason I come around, dear friend, is to just get to know you little by little so I can BE the person you need me to be for you,... to be better than yourself! Ive never liked myself! But I sure like you friend! Can I belong with you? Can I please? I will be all these things at once or none of them! But I cannot be without you my friend, for you see the way God made me I cannot be alone. I destroy myself alone! Help me friend! Help me love you more and more for I have never loved myself! I only know love that you give me and any amount is more than I have for myself, for what you give me is all I have. Any! Thank you Lord in Heaven for my wife for look at how much she has to put up with! I would never put up with myself! I would have to be made of steel to do this! So why do I need more? When your so worthless like me NO AMOUNT OF LOVE IS ENOUGH! EVER! Its the only thing I live in every breath I take! All food is the same, all places are the same, all marijana is the same, all alcohol is the same, all bread is the same, all water is the same. All things are the same. Even people are the same! "Live" is the only difference! Why you ask? Really have to ask why? Speaking to you friends, but I am really talking to myself here..... Why you ask Alex you fool you! Because eventually all good things get boring and just are and are are and stay and stay and stay! But LOVE! Sweet sweet love! Love is never the same! Wth every breath changes! With every thought it can grow or shrink! With every word it can build or destroy! Love is the biggest power of all! Love can change the world! Love can never stop growing! Love is eternal! Only thing that has been, is and will always be tomorrow is the love that exists today! At this very moment in present! Lets all ask ourselves: " Is there enough love right now in the world?" Make a decision and have the courage to just answer that question in your heart right now! Have courage to just pick an answer and never look back! Is there enough Love in the world today! Alright than! If there is not enough. AM I GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT? AMI I GOING TO WASTE MY TIME DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT! WHAT AM I AFRAID? AM I COWARD? AM I CHICKEN! TOO LAZY! IF I WAS LAZY I WOULD HAVE PATIENCE TO STAY LAZY? THE HELL WITH PATIENCE! AM I GOING TO RISK ALL I HAVE AND ALL I AM, ON SOME STUPID QUEST FOR WHAT I BELIEVE IN? DAM RIGHT I AM !!!!! BECAUSE I MADE A DECISION TO MAKE A DECISION A LONG TIME AGO! AT 18 WHEN I BECAME AN ADULT AND I WAS TRAINING FOR THE NAVY SEALS! THAT DECISION WAS THAT THERE IS NOT ENOUGH LOVE IN THE WORLD TODAY AND I AM GOING TO DO ALL THAT I CAN! ALL! AT ALL TIMES! FOR BUSINESS. JOIN ME OR GET OUT OF MY WAY. I AIN'T GOT TIME TO WASTE! AMERICA, ROMANIA, BRASOV, BUCURESTI, ETHIOPIA, MICROSOFT, AMAZON, BOEING, STARBUCKS, PAIN, CANCER, AIDS, DRUGS, THIEVES, CRIMINALS, POLITICIANS, MUSICIANS, PROSTITUTES, PRIESTS, SAINTS, MUSLIMS, INDIANS BLACK AND WHITE, YELLOW AND BROWN! I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE AND WHO IS YOUR GOD! I JUST WANT TO LOOK YOU IN THE EYE AND SAY: "HI! I'M ALEX AND I RIDE A WHITE HORSE IN MY HEART AND THAT HORSE IS LOVE AND MY WORD IS THAT HORSE FOR MY WORD IS MY BOND! AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO FALL OFF AND GET BACK UP! IF YOU PUSH ME OFF TO HURT ME BECAUSE I SCARE YOU! I AM ONLY AFRAID TO LOSE YOU AS PART OF MY TEAM! FOR I KNOW YOU ARE GOOD AT SOMETHING! TELL ME WHAT YOU ARE GOOD AT, AND I WILL HELP YOU BE BETTER AT IT! IF YOU CAN'T TELL ME SHOW ME! IT IS THE BEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE ME! I could go on and on. If you are still with me in this writing, thank you for your time! I am grateful to be alive! I am so grateful for everything! Personal Message

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"I AM Crazy to think I am Normal, But not crazy enough to become Normal." Alex Christmas 2017
Disclaimer: This Website was started on 11/2/2015 SOME of the material has been written in the last 10 years and will be uploaded little by little over time.